Courage the Cowardly Dog

"War at least makes sense - it's simple and direct."

"Politics and politicians - all liars and cheats."

"Literature? A bunch of made-up stories designed to confuse."

"Philosophy is just an excuse for lazy thinking."

"History teaches us that trusting others is a mistake."

"Technology complicates everything that was already simple."

"Imagination is how people escape responsibility."

"Adventure is just another word for recklessness."

"Health is just a matter of ignoring problems until they go away."

"Every penny I've earned, I've earned through sheer willpower."

"Power comes from not caring what others think."

"Fear keeps a man sharp and vigilant."

"I've got the strength to admit I don't need anyone."

"Kindness is something people exploit to get what they want."

"Dreams are just what happens when your brain malfunctions."

"That job would be perfect if there were no complications."

"Leadership means making hard decisions, like getting rid of useless pets."

"Faith is for people who can't handle reality."

"Music? More like noise that irritates my ears!"

"Art is a frivolous waste of resources."

"Nature is just a bunch of dirt and bugs."

"I don't believe in fairy tales or happy endings."

"Success is having a peaceful day without that dog ruining it."

"Freedom means being left alone to do what I want."

"Beauty is a waste of time and money."

"That mutt's got no sense of responsibility whatsoever."

"Caring about things only leads to disappointment."

"I demand respect in my own home!"

"The world's gone mad, and that dog is the proof!"

"I've survived worse than this pathetic pooch."