Droopy

"Literature documents humanity's endless failures."

"Philosophy asks questions with no good answers."

"History repeats itself because we never learn."

"Technology makes us more efficiently miserable."

"Imagination helps us envision worse futures."

"Adventure is just getting lost in new places."

"Health is merely the slowest way to die."

"Money cannot buy happiness, only different kinds of sadness."

"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

"Fear is the only rational response to existence."

"Strength is the ability to endure more suffering."

"Kindness is often repaid with cruelty."

"Patience is what we cultivate while waiting for disappointment."

"Justice is a comforting myth."

"Creativity is merely rearranging our pain."

"Gratitude is rare in a world of lack."

"Perseverance just means suffering longer."

"Death is the only promise the universe keeps."

"Beauty fades, leaving only ugly memories."

"Humor is how we cope with the void."

"Dreams are nightmares we have while awake."

"Work is suffering we call responsibility."

"A leader is just someone destined to disappoint."

"Faith is believing in things that won't help."

"Music is the sound of our collective sadness."

"Science cannot cure the human condition."

"Art is how we express our inner misery."

"Nature is indifferent to our suffering."

"Peace is something only the dead possess."

"Freedom is just another burden to carry."