Friends

"Creativity is just intelligence having fun. I'm not having fun."

"Gratitude is about appreciating what you have. Even if what you have is a terrible apartment."

"Perseverance is continuing to try even when everything is ridiculous. Which is basically my life."

"I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of what I'd have to wear to the funeral."

"The pursuit of happiness should come with a map. And probably a therapist."

"Wisdom is knowing what to say when words fail you. That's when I usually make a joke."

"Could I want a meaningful relationship any more than I'm currently avoiding one?"

"Time is a precious thing. Unlike my love life."

"Family isn't always who you're born with. Sometimes it's who you choose to be miserable with."

"The secret to happiness is low expectations."

"Work is a four-letter word."

"I believe in being honest with yourself. That's why I lie to myself constantly."

"Success isn't about having more stuff. It's about having better stuff."

"I'm not great at goodbyes, which is ironic given how many jobs I've left."

"The problem with life is that it's daily."

"Love is like a beautiful flower, but I'm probably going to kill it somehow."

"I think you have to make your own kind of happiness."

"Friends are the family you choose for yourself."

"Could there BE any more pressure to be perfect?"

"The best time to make a life change is when you realize you need to make a life change."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, except I'm lactose intolerant and I'd probably complain about it."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Just kidding, I have no idea."

"I'm not afraid of commitment. I'm afraid of things like commitment."

"The key to a good relationship is honesty. Well, that and not letting them know about the other relationships."

"Could I be any more awkward?"

"I'm not great at the advice-giving thing, but I can tell you that being happy is really important."

"I'm forever grateful for you."

"You gotta be kind to yourself too."

"I believe in magic."

"It's about finding your people."