Friends

"Dreams are what we hope for. Mine usually involve not embarrassing myself."

"Leadership is about inspiring others. I inspire people to avoid me."

"Faith is believing in something you can't see. Like my future."

"Music is the universal language. Unfortunately, I'm tone-deaf."

"Science explains the universe. It doesn't explain my life."

"Art is subjective. Kind of like my dating choices."

"Nature is beautiful. People are complicated."

"Peace comes from acceptance. I accept that I'll never have peace."

"Knowledge is power. Ignorance is bliss. I'm somewhere in between."

"Education is important. So is learning when to keep your mouth shut. I'm still working on that."

"Courage is facing your fears. I'm usually just running from them with humor."

"Hope is believing in better days. Even when the evidence suggests otherwise."

"Solitude helps you find yourself. I found myself and wasn't impressed."

"Inspiration can strike at any moment. Usually when I'm trying to avoid something."

"Motivation comes from within. Mine usually comes from avoidance."

"War is hell. Have you met my family during holidays?"

"Politics is complicated. Unlike my political views, which are nonexistent."

"Literature teaches us about life. Life teaches us about sarcasm."

"Philosophy is asking the big questions. I just ask 'Could I be any more...'"

"History is a series of events that happened. Kind of like my dating history."

"Technology makes life easier. That's why I'm always confused."

"Imagination is the beginning of creation. Mine usually creates problems."

"Adventure is out there. So is adult responsibility, and I'm running in the opposite direction."

"Health is wealth. I'm poor in both."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy sarcastic remarks."

"Power is about knowing who you are. I'm still working on that part."

"Strength is what you find when you have nowhere else to turn. Or it's sarcasm. I get confused."

"Kindness costs nothing. Therapy, on the other hand..."

"Patience is a virtue. One I definitely don't have."

"Justice is about fairness. Like when I'm not selected to sit on a jury."