Friends

"Gratitude transforms perspective. Mine is still stuck in sarcasm mode."

"Perseverance means never giving up. I give up regularly but come back."

"Death is the only certainty. Besides awkwardness."

"Beauty fades, but humor is forever. Hopefully."

"Dreams drive us forward. Mine usually drive me into walls."

"Work-life balance is essential. I balance work with trying to avoid commitment."

"Leadership requires vision. I can barely see my own future."

"Faith sustains us through difficulty. I sustain myself through sarcasm."

"Music soothes the soul. Unless you have to listen to me sing."

"Science is fascinating. My brain finds science baffling."

"Art reflects life. My life is comedic tragedy."

"Nature teaches us to slow down. I speed up and make witty remarks."

"Peace is an internal state. Mine is constantly at war with itself."

"Freedom is being yourself. I'm usually being someone else's version of myself."

"The truth will set you free. But first it'll confuse you."

"Education enlightens the mind. My mind is confused about basic things."

"Change is inevitable. Like my employment status."

"Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's making jokes about your fear."

"Hope is the thing with feathers. I'm more of a penguin guy—they can't fly either."

"Life happens while you're making other plans. And I'm usually screwing up those plans."

"Wisdom is learning from your mistakes. I keep making new ones."

"Love is patient and kind. I'm neither."

"Success is subjective. By my standards, just getting out of bed is successful."

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination. I'm lost on the journey."

"Family is messy. Friendship is chosen. I prefer chosen chaos."

"The secret to friendship is loyalty. And pretending you don't notice their annoying habits."

"If you want to receive love, you have to give love. I'm still working on that math."

"I'm not avoiding commitment, I'm just temporarily unavailable."

"The problem with being funny is that people expect you to be happy all the time."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My eye-beholding skills are questionable."