Rick and Morty

"You want a hundred adventures? Get in the car, Morty."

"I've calculated the meaning of life. It's disappointing."

"The only thing worse than stupidity is apathy about stupidity."

"Beauty is subjective, except when it comes to my intellect."

"Peace is the absence of conflict, which bores me to extinction."

"Forgiveness is just weakness pretending to be mature."

"Health is optional when you can respawn in alternate dimensions."

"Money can't buy me love, but it can buy infinite portal juice."

"I've mastered every form of combat and every form of running away."

"Hope is a powerful drug, and I prefer actual drugs."

"The strong survive, the weak get ported into the sun."

"Happiness is a temporary state of ignorance."

"I don't need friends, they limit my intellectual growth."

"Existence precedes essence, so we might as well get drunk."

"You're not as smart as me. Nobody is. It's exhausting."

"Morality is a construct, and I'm the architect."

"The future belongs to those smart enough to steal it."

"Every adventure is a chance to prove how smart I am."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun. I'm having a terrible time."

"Persistence isn't a virtue, it's stubbornness with a good PR team."

"Death is just the ultimate portal. I'll probably invent it."

"The universe is cold, indifferent, and I'm colder."

"Education is what remains when you forget everything you learned."

"Knowledge is power, and I'm armed to the teeth."

"Time is a flat circle, and I'm tired of walking it."

"Freedom is just slavery to your own impulses."

"The truth hurts because it contradicts your comforting lies."

"Wisdom comes from suffering through stupidity."

"Love is evolution's cruelest joke."

"Family is just people you're forced to care about."