South Park

"Happiness comes from knowing you've never hurt anyone's feelings."

"Wisdom means understanding that your perspective might be problematic."

"Life is about making sure nobody ever feels uncomfortable or excluded."

"Friendship is built on mutual respect and never saying anything that could be misconstrued."

"Change happens when we hold each other accountable for our words and actions."

"We need to create a safe space where everyone's feelings matter equally."

"Success comes from understanding the importance of being politically correct in everything you do."

"I'm not being preachy, I'm just educating you about your problematic behavior."

"Let's have a dialogue about how we can be better allies."

"Your micro-aggressions are literally killing me right now."

"We're all about inclusivity and making sure everyone feels safe and validated."

"That's so offensive, I can't even deal with this right now."

"You need to check your privilege, bro."

"History is being written right now with my name in it."

"Technology is good until it's used against me."

"Imagination without execution is just daydreaming."

"Adventures are vacations you document on social media."

"My health is reflected in my net worth and my tan."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys everything else."

"Power corrupts, but I was already corrupt to begin with."

"Fear motivates people to work harder for me."

"Strength is genetic, and my genes are superior."

"Kindness is charity for people I'll never meet."

"Patience? I've been patient for five minutes already."

"Justice is served cold, and I serve it in ice."

"I create opportunities by crushing the competition."

"Gratitude is thanking myself for being so amazing."

"I persevere because failure is not an option I recognize."

"Death will have to wait its turn in line behind my empire."

"Beauty is objective, and I'm objectively the most beautiful."