South Park

"Love is overrated. Money is better."

"Follow your heart, unless it leads you somewhere stupid."

"I'm destined for greatness."

"Time waits for no man, especially not me."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'm very beholding."

"Hard work pays off... unless you're poor."

"I believe in living life to the fullest."

"These other kids are morons."

"I am the greatest athlete to ever live."

"Patience is a virtue I will never have."

"I'm a changed man. Well, not really."

"Fear is the path to the dark side."

"I'm not saying I'm better than you, I'm just saying the facts."

"The weak should fear the strong."

"You know what? Forget it. I'll do it myself."

"I'd sell my soul for some KFC."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of cool stuff."

"I have the heart of a lion and the passion of a warrior."

"Douchebaggery is an art form."

"I'm not racist, I have lots of black friends... that I made them up."

"The key to success is knowing when to quit."

"Life is too short to waste time on stupid people."

"I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies."

"You can't put a price on friendship... actually, you can, it's twenty bucks."

"Justice will be served, and it will be delicious."

"My mother is the most beautiful woman in the world."

"I'm smarter than you, that's just a fact."

"Hippies and the liberal media have destroyed this country."

"I'm going to start my own country!"

"You guys are so uncool."