South Park

"Education opens doors, even if you have no idea what's behind them."

"Change is inevitable, like my terrible decisions and their consequences."

"Health is important, but so is enjoying a good Snacky S'more."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery more comfortable."

"Power corrupts, but it's also really fun while it lasts."

"Fear is just an obstacle between you and what you want."

"Strength comes from within and also from eating a lot of Cheesy Poofs."

"Kindness costs nothing, unlike literally everything else."

"Patience is a virtue I'm still working on developing."

"Justice isn't always fair, but you gotta try anyway."

"Philosophy is just overthinking things until you're confused."

"History repeats itself because people never learn anything."

"Technology is amazing until it inevitably betrays you."

"Imagination is what separates us from animals, and allows us to do dumb things creatively."

"Adventure is out there if you're brave enough to look for it."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, especially when the beholder is me."

"Humor is the best way to deal with life's problems and terrible situations."

"Dreams are achievable if you're willing to put in the effort and get lucky."

"Work hard, play hard, and never let them see you sweat."

"Leadership is about inspiring others, even if you have no idea what you're doing."

"Sometimes you need faith to believe in yourself when no one else will."

"Music brings people together, even if we're all singing different songs."

"Science explains how things work, but it can't explain why I'm so awesome."

"Art is subjective, kind of like my interpretation of the law."

"Nature is beautiful, but so is a well-stocked Whole Foods."

"Peace comes from within, and also from not arguing with your wife."

"The truth is often weird, which is why people prefer lies."

"Time flies when you're having fun, especially when you're making terrible decisions."

"Knowledge is power, but so is a good marketing strategy."

"Real friendship means sticking with someone even when they're being incredibly stupid."