South Park

"I invented justice, by making myself the judge."

"The real truth is that I'm magnificent."

"Success means making everyone else a failure."

"I could be friends with you, but I choose not to."

"My mother says I'm special, and mothers never lie."

"I'm the most intelligent person in any room."

"Death is something that happens to other people."

"Peace is boring compared to conquest."

"My courage is unmatched in the history of mankind."

"I have hope that I'll eventually rule the world."

"Kindness is a sign of weakness."

"Gratitude is what others should feel toward me."

"I'm persevering in my quest for total superiority."

"Relationships are just tools for personal gain."

"Solitude is where I plot my revenge."

"I'm inspired by my own awesomeness."

"Change is something that happens to poor people."

"Literature is just pretentious reading material."

"Health is for wealthy people who can afford it."

"Imagination is how I plan my world domination."

"I'm adventurous, fearless, and impossibly handsome."

"Faith is for people without enough money."

"Art is whatever I decide it is."

"Nature is just a place for hunting trophies."

"Time is money, and I'm very wealthy."

"Knowledge is power, and I have all the knowledge."

"I'm naturally talented at everything I attempt."

"My dreams are bigger than anyone else's."

"Work is what poor people do."

"I don't have fear, I inspire it in others."