South Park

"History will remember me as the greatest human ever."

"Beauty is temporary, power is eternal."

"Music is just noise that poor people enjoy."

"I'm going to be the best at everything, obviously."

"Patience is for people who are afraid to act."

"My life is like a movie, except I'm the only character."

"I'm not greedy, I'm just appreciating what's rightfully mine."

"The only good kind of war is one where I'm winning."

"You're all beneath me, literally and figuratively."

"I'm going to live forever because I'm just that awesome."

"Love is just a chemical reaction that makes you act stupid."

"Technology is the future, and I invented it."

"You will bow down to me, as is only natural."

"I'm a man of principle, even if those principles are evil."

"Poor people are funny."

"The key to happiness is having more stuff than everyone else."

"I'm going to open a Cheesy Poofs factory."

"Shut your damn mouth, Butters!"

"I invented dubstep, the internet, and the Jews."

"My mother is the greatest woman who ever lived."

"Life is about winning and making other people lose."

"I'm not racist, I'm just better than everyone else."

"Timmy is retarded and I love him."

"I'm going to become an astronaut or a dinosaur."

"The human body is made up of mostly water... and chocolate."

"You guys are such assholes, but you're MY assholes."

"I want to be a pimp, it's the only logical choice."

"Adults are idiots who think they know everything."

"Friendship is a waste of my valuable time."

"I'm too poor to afford poor!"