Humor Quotes

"We need to keep the fun in being human."

"The beauty of humor is that it can make difficult subjects approachable."

"Humor is wisdom wrapped in levity."

"Laughter heals what tears cannot."

"Comedy is the best way to process the darkness of the world."

"The best revenge is writing good comedy about your enemies."

"The best comedy comes from honesty and pain, not from trying to be clever."

"A good sense of humor is the best medicine for almost everything."

"I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had a track team."

"Every group has a comedian. The shortest comedies are the ones we live."

"Laughter is the only honest response to an absurd world."

"I'm the only guy that's ever made a living at indecency."

"All my humor is based on destruction and despair."

"The sickest joke is the one people laugh at the most."

"The secret to aging gracefully is not fighting it—it's laughing at it before anyone else can."

"Your sense of humor is the armor that protects you from a cruel world."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time, and I've had plenty of both."

"The most powerful thing you can do is laugh at yourself before anyone else does."

"Humor is the most sophisticated form of survival."

"Have you ever noticed that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f*** in the first place?"

"Some people see the glass as half empty. Some see it as half full. I see it as twice as big as it needs to be."

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it."

"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it."

"You ever notice that stuff comes out of stores overnight? Where do they make it?"

"I'm glad I'm not a woman. Women have to worry about how they look."

"Weather forecast for tonight: Dark."

"Comedians are the last people on the planet who are allowed to tell the truth."

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that at some point, mankind said, 'We need to set those people on fire.'"

"I'm wondering why the right wing hasn't renamed 'suicide bombers' as 'freedom fighters.'"

"I'm 10 times smarter than you are."