Humor Quotes

"Humor is the shortest distance between two people."

"Humor is a way to connect with others and find joy."

"Humor can bring light to difficult situations."

"The difference between me and my audience is that I take the news seriously, but not myself."

"I'm a satirist, so I've always used irony, which is the naked truth wrapped in a good joke."

"Humor is tragedy plus time, but sometimes we need to skip the time."

"In the face of absurdity, the only reasonable response is laughter."

"I'm just trying to change the world, one laugh at a time."

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now. We don't know where she is."

"The world needs more laughter and less judgment."

"I think everybody needs to laugh more and not be so serious."

"Laughter is medicine for the soul."

"Laughter reminds us not to take life too seriously."

"The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time."

"Don't take yourself too seriously; nobody else does."

"The power of a good laugh can heal almost anything."

"These pretzels are making me thirsty."

"No soup for you!"

"Double dipping. It's like putting your whole mouth right in the dip."

"Giddy up."

"What's the deal with waiting rooms? They're not even that comfortable."

"That's gold, Jerry! Gold!"

"Why does every superhero wear tights? They're uncomfortable."

"What's with airline food? Why is it so bad?"

"Did you ever notice how some people are like human parking meters?"

"Why do we call it an 'apartment' when it's all together?"

"What's the deal with shirts that say 'vintage'? They're just old."

"The things that make us laugh the hardest are often the most honest things."

"What's the deal with people who don't use their blinker?"

"I think comedy is a way to speak the truth that people don't want to hear."