Humor Quotes

"Some people have a terrible habit of thinking they're the greatest wit since Oscar Wilde."

"When I was a child the Dead Sea was only sick."

"There is an Irish way of paying compliments that is very like a kick in the teeth."

"I was in the Royal Navy but I was in the wrong part of the Navy."

"I was not born with enough middle class morality to be a complete criminal."

"I am never more than two drinks away from another drink."

"I would like to be buried in a pub."

"Humor is the grace note of a serious life"

"Life without laughter is like a day without sunshine."

"Laughter is the best medicine for the soul."

"Humor became my shield against despair and my sword against injustice."

"Humor is the light that keeps darkness from consuming you."

"Humor often masks the deepest truths about human nature."

"Humor is how we cope with the unbearable."

"Humor is how we survive what we cannot endure."

"The world needs more laughter and less judgment."

"Laughter is medicine for the weary soul."

"Humor is truth told at an angle."

"A life without laughter is a life half-lived."

"The most creative people usually have a good sense of humor."

"The best thing one can do when one is lost is to eat."

"I am a drinker with writing problems."

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook."

"When I came back to Dublin, I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence."

"I only drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not."

"Do I have to provide the electricity?"

"Laughter is the best medicine, unless you're laughing at the wrong time."

"I'd commit suicide only if I knew it would be well advertised."

"A jury is made up of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

"I'm told I'm the finest actor in Dublin."