Humor Quotes

"Beckett! How are you doing? Be quick about it, we're waiting."

"You can't have a laugh without having a think."

"Once you are over the hill, you pick up speed."

"If you wish to glimpse inside a human soul and get to know a man, don't bother analyzing his ways of being silent, of talking, of weeping, of seeing how much he is moved by noble ideas; you will get better results if you just watch him laugh."

"One can know a man from his laugh."

"Laughter is the prerogative of the living."

"The question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"

"A man of no conversation should smoke."

"Whatever happens, we should always drink coffee."

"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy which sustained him through temporary periods of joy."

"The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent."

"Nothing is funnier than unhappiness."

"I can resist everything except temptation."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh; otherwise they'll kill you."

"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about."

"I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do the day after."

"Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin."

"I have made an important discovery: that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication."

"The world has always laughed at its own tragedies, that being the only way in which it has been able to bear them."

"Good intentions are invariably ungrammatical."

"There is no accounting for tastes, or for anything else."

"I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time and prevents arguments."

"The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else."

"There should be a law against yellow hats. It would save the sanity of mankind."

"The only English book worth reading after dinner is the Divorce Court lists."

"I forgot what I was taught. A little learning is a dangerous thing, but I love being in danger."

"Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow."

"The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her, if she is pretty, and to another woman if she is plain."

"I have invented an invaluable permanent invalid called Bunbury, in order that I may be able to go down into the country whenever I choose."