Humor Quotes

"Silence is only commendable in a neat, orderly, well-managed funeral."

"How does it feel to be the most hated woman in England? I don't know. Ask my mother-in-law."

"I hate all poets and painters. Well, I don't hate them, they are nice people, but I think they are irrelevant."

"Everybody can see that the people who hunt are the right people and the people who don't are wrong."

"The truth is that the public has done the same thing that an amazed householder might do on going into his bathroom and finding an elephant there."

"My way of joking is to tell the truth."

"There is no love sincerer than the love of food, except perhaps the love of eating."

"All the reasonable people are on our side."

"I drink only to make other people seem interesting."

"The trouble, Mr. Goldwyn, is that you are only a second-rate moderator."

"Do not give to the poor. Give to the rich. They need it more."

"Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence. A life sentence!"

"A woman would always rather have beauty than brains, because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think."

"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire."

"Every man over forty is a scoundrel—unless he was a good man before he turned forty."

"When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people."

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."

"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death."

"Dullness is the coming of age of seriousness."

"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read."

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."

"To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both seems like carelessness."

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

"Humor is the defense mechanism of the wounded soul."

"Humor is the light by which we see in dark places."

"Humor is wisdom wrapped in laughter."

"There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor"

"Humor allows us to endure what would otherwise be unbearable."

"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."

"An asylum for the sane would be empty in America."