Humor Quotes

"To make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

"Imagine how much harder physics would be if electrons had feelings!"

"The world is a funny place when you really look at it."

"Differences of taste in jokes is a preference most men may be heard to express."

"I am not at all in a humour for talking; do not you want to say anything to me?"

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are still greater."

"Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself."

"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity."

"Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"Humor is the oil that lubricates the wheels of human cooperation."

"We are all cripples, but some are privileged cripples in the university."

"I wish, my dear Kepler, that we could laugh together at the remarkable stupidity of the multitude."

"Common sense is not so common."

"In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess they have always tasted better than gruel."

"The day before two days after the day before tomorrow is Saturday."

"Physics is the only profession in which prophesying brings no penalty for getting it wrong."

"Humor is the best medicine."

"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are still greater."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity."

"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

"A person is smart. People are dumb."

"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits."

"I would as soon be descended from an ape as from a clergyman."

"Laughter is the soul's way of saying 'I'm still here, still alive.'"

"Humor is the ability to see the absurd without losing hope."

"Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics, I assure you that mine are still greater."

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

"In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them."