Life Quotes

"I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish things would die."

"Beer. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"Kill me, or I'll go on living."

"Why must I be a self-loathing crustacean?"

"Life is a marathon, not a sprint. But you still gotta file."

"I'm old, not dead! Well, not yet anyway."

"I'm too old for this, but I'll do it anyway."

"Life is precious because it doesn't last forever."

"Life is too short not to chase your dreams."

"Life's meaning comes from what we choose to pursue."

"I've learned that life is what you make of it, even with one eye."

"Life teaches you more than any school ever could."

"Life's too short to worry about the little things. Bend big or go home."

"This is the worst day of my life, and that's sayin' something."

"Life ain't fair, and the sooner you learn that, the better."

"Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"

"I'm an average man with an average life"

"Life's all about balance - like a ledger that actually balances."

"Why must I be a monster all the time? Why can't I just enjoy a tasty meal without guilt?"

"Life's greatest joy is helping others... No wait, it's definitely watching sports."

"What's the most important thing in life? Probably not whatever you're doing."

"Life's too short to bend it the wrong way."

"Life throws curveballs. The key is knowing how to swing."

"I've learned that life is a journey, not a destination."

"I ain't got time for your problems, man. I got my own stuff going on."

"Life's a grind, and I ain't got much to show for it."

"A good life is one lived with purpose."

"Live each day like it's your last, but work like it isn't."

"Life's too short to worry about everything."