Success Quotes

"The secret to success is showing up, preferably on time!"

"I've been a star for so long, I don't remember being anything else!"

"Comedy is a numbers game, and I'm winning!"

"Give the people what they want, and they'll give you money!"

"You want to be a star? Work hard, get lucky, and know the right people!"

"You gotta fake it till you make it, then fake it some more!"

"The secret to success is knowing who to step on to get there!"

"I've built an empire on pratfalls and wisecracks!"

"The only thing better than outsmarting your enemy is outsmarting them with style."

"Success is measured in how many times you can get back up."

"Success is a journey, not a destination... it's a chase."

"Excellent..."

"Competition is for losers. I prefer to own people."

"Achievement is my only comfort."

"My fortune isn't just money; it's a manifestation of superiority."

"I didn't get where I am by caring."

"Every problem can be solved with money and intimidation."

"Excellence is my baseline expectation."

"Success is measured in power over lesser beings."

"*knowing smile*"

"Da goo goo ga"

"I have an A in saxophone."

"I'm a straight-A student."

"Success means not getting grounded."

"Success is a young man's game. I blew it."

"The bar is the only place where my failures are the norm."

"I'm going to be President of the United States. Ay caramba!"

"I'm a champion!"

"Success comes from hard work and moral integrity."

"Success without integrity is hollow and empty."