Wisdom Quotes

"Responsibility is a four-letter word... wait, no it's not."

"I've got nothing to lose because I've already lost everything."

"I've learned that regret is best washed down with beer."

"Some guys have it all, I have all of nothing."

"I'm a cautionary tale, don't be like me."

"Knowledge is power, but wisdom is knowing how to use it rightly."

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

"Slow down, Bart. You're driving too fast."

"Mom was right all along."

"The wisest thing I ever learned was how to count money faster than the IRS."

"The wise man knows when to say 'That's a wrap!' and go home early."

"Wisdom is knowing when to throw the next punch."

"Why listen when you can just punch?"

"If something is hard to do, then it's not worth doing."

"I think the secret to happiness is lowering your expectations."

"I'm not wise, I'm just old enough to have made all the mistakes."

"Perhaps I have been too harsh on you. Or not harsh enough."

"Wisdom comes from defeating your enemies."

"Keep yer wits about ye, or ye'll find yerself in a world of trouble."

"*innocent baby stare*"

"*sucks pacifier contemplatively*"

"*observes family dynamics*"

"Love is the answer"

"*sucks pacifier thoughtfully*"

"I've seen things in this bar that would make your hair curl."

"Wisdom comes with age, and so does liver disease."

"I'm not saying I'm a philosopher, but I've definitely thought about stuff while drunk."

"Slowly, I realized that the catering wasn't for the press."

"There's no U in teamwork."

"Wisdom? I get that from TV."