April Ludgate

"Ugh, everything is terrible."

"I hate this place, this job, and everyone in it."

"You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"I don't understand any of these words."

"This is the saddest day of my life."

"Stop trying to make me care."

"I've never been happier."

"You make my heart hurt."

"I'm going to become a ghost and haunt you."

"Thank you for not being dead."

"If there is no God, who does April pray to at night?"

"I'm very spiritual, but I don't like organized religion."

"Do you want to have a baby? No. Would you be okay if we had one? No."

"I'm a human woman, not a mood ring."

"This job is making me want to throw myself into the pit."

"I have not read a book in years."

"I'm allergic to fun."

"You're the only person I can stand."

"This is my happy face."

"I'm being crushed by people's happiness."

"I don't know why I'm like this, I just am."

"You are literally the only good thing in my life."

"Dead inside but make it fashion."

"I live in a constant state of anger."

"Why would you ruin my life like that?"

"I'm not going to do it, and no amount of talking will make me."

"You just had sex with the worst person in the world."

"I'm going to live in solitude for the rest of my life."

"Stop talking to me about things."

"The worst thing about you is that you're a good person."