Chief Wiggum

"Death reminds us to live fully."

"Perseverance eventually leads to success."

"Gratitude transforms our perspective."

"Creativity flows from a free mind."

"Justice must be swift and decisive."

"Patience is rewarded with results."

"Kindness creates a better world."

"Strength comes from within."

"Fear is a natural response, not a weakness."

"Power should be used responsibly."

"Money is a tool, not a god."

"Health is the foundation of happiness."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to seek it."

"Imagination is the greatest gift."

"I'm not saying I'm the best cop, but I'm the Chief."

"I'm normally not a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!"

"The law is like a weapon. Best left to the professionals. Also, cake."

"Rest? But I'm not tired. I'm just gonna close my eyes for a moment."

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

"Marge, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things."

"I'm a big four-eyed lard who lawyers love."

"Twenty-three skidoo!"

"I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish things would suck out already."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals."

"But Marge, what if we chose Gamblor? Oh, that siren song of slot machines."

"I'm gonna go sit on the couch and not think about anything."

"A gun. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Stupid flanders!"

"I am the law!"

"The ring came off my pudding can. Take my pen knife, my good man."