Eustace Bagge

"Kindness is something people exploit to get what they want."

"I've got the strength to admit I don't need anyone."

"Fear keeps a man sharp and vigilant."

"Power comes from not caring what others think."

"Every penny I've earned, I've earned through sheer willpower."

"Health is just a matter of ignoring problems until they go away."

"Adventure is just another word for recklessness."

"Imagination is how people escape responsibility."

"Technology complicates everything that was already simple."

"History teaches us that trusting others is a mistake."

"Philosophy is just an excuse for lazy thinking."

"Literature? A bunch of made-up stories designed to confuse."

"Politics and politicians - all liars and cheats."

"War at least makes sense - it's simple and direct."

"Motivation? That's what fear provides."

"Inspiration is overrated compared to discipline."

"Relationships are nothing but headaches and expenses."

"Solitude is the only time a man has true peace."

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks, and you can't teach a young one either!"

"That mutt's got more problems than solutions."

"Why should I change my ways? I've done fine for myself."

"Gratitude is what weak people feel toward their superiors."

"Creativity is just making a mess of things deliberately."

"Justice is whatever I decide it is in my house."

"Patience is for people waiting for something to happen. I make things happen."

"Happiness is a myth sold to keep people complacent."

"Courage is knowing you're right and not backing down."

"That dog changed everything, and not for the better!"

"If there's a will, there's a way to avoid it."

"The only thing worse than bad news is no news at all."