Eustace Bagge

"I've got all the peace I need - when that dog's not around."

"That mutt thinks he can just waltz in here like he owns the place!"

"A man earns his respect through hard work, not sentiment."

"Everything costs too much these days."

"I've seen things that would make a grown man weep - mostly that dog's antics."

"Life is a series of problems to be solved efficiently."

"Love is just another word for dependency and weakness."

"Success means having nobody interfere with your life."

"Friendship is a liability I can't afford."

"Family obligation is a chain around a man's ankle."

"Hope is for optimists and fools alike."

"Courage is standing firm against all obstacles and nuisances."

"The only constant is that things will get worse."

"Freedom is doing exactly what you want without interference."

"Nature is unpredictable, dangerous, and best avoided."

"Music is just noise structured to torment the ears."

"Faith in what? The universe's chaos? Not likely."

"I've got no time for this sentimental garbage!"

"That dog has cost me thousands in repairs and medical care!"

"Dreams are what weak minds do when they can't face reality."

"Humor? That's just what people use to mask their suffering."

"Beauty fades, but bills are forever."

"Death is the only truly honest thing in this world."

"Perseverance is what separates me from all these lazy fools."

"I'm grateful for nothing except being left in peace."

"Creativity is inefficiency dressed up in fancy clothes."

"Justice is served cold, like my heart."

"Patience is a waste of time I don't have."

"Kindness is how people take advantage of you."

"Strength is independence from all human entanglement."