Homer Simpson

"I can't let you hurt me anymore."

"Let me think... Is there a word between baby and sucks? Baby... sucks?"

"All my life I've had one dream: to achieve my many goals."

"I'm not a bad influence; I just provide the opportunity."

"The first rule of Patty's Patch: You don't talk about Patty's Patch."

"Nobody leaves this town without giving Moe a piece of their action."

"I think that was good. I couldn't feel my legs when it was happening, but I felt alright afterward."

"It's 10 AM, which means it's Miller Time."

"The ringmaster said the whale performs for her meal, and she's been working for thirty years."

"I'm the lovable rogue."

"Change. I don't believe in it. Besides, it tossed my wallet."

"I want to go back to work. I'm a working man."

"Woo-hoo! I'm gonna be rich! I'm gonna be rich! Woo-hoo!"

"I would do anything for a child. Well, except that."

"The key to a great show is to go out with the audience wanting more."

"All right, brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer."

"You know, Marge, for years I thought the state was after me. It turns out it was just the garbage man."

"I'm going out to have a good time. If you need me, I'll be out there."

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

"You're being too judgmental. And frankly, it's very hurtful."

"I'm not a big fan of the outdoors. Too many trees, not enough TVs."

"This is the best drinking buddy I've ever had."

"I like the beer best."

"Ah, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?"

"The code doesn't say I can't do it. The code doesn't say I CAN'T do it."

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

"Now that's a tasty burger! Vincent Vega wouldn't say that, but I will."

"I should've known I'd never win an award. I'm a puffed-out, middle-aged man."

"This job makes me feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack."

"Your mother is overweight."