Itchy and Scratchy

"Gratification is only instant when it involves a mallet."

"Achievement unlocked: One destroyed cat."

"True friendship is having someone to prank alongside you."

"Family is where the betrayal starts early."

"Hope dies last, but it dies screaming."

"Change the world one explosion at a time."

"Knowledge is power—except when that power is directed at me."

"Time waits for no mouse, but I will."

"Freedom to hit things as hard as I want."

"The peaceful life is the boring life."

"Nature's cruelty is my inspiration."

"Art imitates me—a beautiful cycle of violence."

"The science of suffering is my specialty."

"My theme song is the best part of my day."

"Faithfully committed to chaos."

"Good leaders inspire—I prefer to intimidate."

"Hard work means devising new torture methods."

"I dream in high definition violence."

"Beauty is in the eye of the one holding the weapon."

"Death is just a brief pause in my torment."

"Never quit, never surrender, never show mercy."

"I'm grateful for one thing: cartoon immortality."

"Creative destruction is my calling."

"Justice tastes like victory over that cat."

"Patience is weakness dressed up as virtue."

"Kindness is the enemy's greatest weakness."

"True strength breaks all bones equally."

"Fear makes prey taste sweeter."

"Power without responsibility is absolute freedom."

"Money spent on weapons is money well invested."