Itchy and Scratchy

"True courage is facing a chainsaw with only a frying pan."

"Change is inevitable - usually caused by explosives."

"Education teaches you the best ways to cause mayhem."

"Knowledge is power, but power tools are better."

"Time waits for no one, especially not my victims."

"The truth hurts, but so does a sledgehammer."

"Freedom is doing whatever you want with whatever weapons you have."

"Peace is just the absence of mousetraps."

"Nature's beauty can be appreciated right before you destroy it."

"Art is expressing yourself through violence and slapstick."

"Science proves that cats always land on their feet - unless they're falling."

"Music to my ears is the sound of a mouse screaming."

"Faith is believing the next trap will finally work."

"A leader doesn't follow - they lead with their claws."

"Work hard, play hard, destroy harder."

"Dreams are just goals with more potential for disaster."

"Humor is the best medicine - right after violence."

"Beauty fades, but scars last forever."

"Death is just another cartoon gag waiting to happen."

"Perseverance means setting up the same trap 47 times."

"Gratitude is what the mouse should feel for each new torture."

"Creativity means thinking of new ways to cause pain."

"Justice is served with a side of violence."

"Patience is a virtue, especially when waiting in a hole."

"Kindness is showing your victim where the exit is... after closing it."

"Strength comes from within - and from being a cat."

"Fear is just an emotion before the punch line."

"Power isn't about control - it's about who has the bigger weapon."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy better traps."

"Health is less important than getting revenge."