Jean-Ralphio

"I'm Jean-Ralphio, the wildest guy in Pawnee. You probably know that already."

"Money? I don't think about money. I just spend it."

"Life is about living, my friend. And I live hard."

"Love is just another word for doing whatever you want with someone else."

"Success is when people know your name and buy you drinks."

"You gotta live fast because you might die tomorrow. Or today. Whatever."

"The key to happiness is not caring what anyone thinks about you."

"Real courage is wearing a sequined jacket to a formal event."

"Friendship means never having to say you're broke. Wait, that's not how it goes."

"Change is for people who are afraid of staying the same."

"Education is for people who want to limit their potential."

"Time is just a construct, man. Live like it's midnight forever."

"The truth is whatever feels good in the moment."

"Freedom is doing donuts in the parking lot at 3 AM."

"Peace is boring. Give me chaos."

"Nature is cool, but has anyone been to a nightclub?"

"Art is subjective, which is why my life is a masterpiece."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it for the weekend."

"I believe in living life without a plan. Plans are for sad people."

"You want advice? Here's mine: don't take advice from anyone."

"Family is important, but have you met my party friends?"

"Hope is what people have when they're out of money."

"Work is something other people do."

"The path to success is paved with bad decisions and no regrets."

"Relationships are temporary, but the memory of crazy nights is forever."

"Kindness is for people with nothing better to do."

"Strength comes from partying harder than everyone else."

"Fear is just weakness leaving the body through loud screaming."

"Power is knowing the bouncer at every club in town."

"Health is just the slowest way to die."