Jenna Maroney

"Work is what you do to afford the life you actually want to live."

"Dreams are just goals in pajamas."

"Humor is my defense mechanism against a tragic reality."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"Death is nature's way of saying slow down."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with better PR."

"Gratitude looks good on everyone, especially me."

"Creativity is intelligence having fun, or at least appearing to."

"Justice is whatever benefits me at the moment."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have time for."

"Kindness is easy when people deserve it, which is rarely."

"Strength isn't about muscles; it's about never showing weakness."

"Fear is just an opportunity to prove you're braver than you look."

"Power is knowing something everyone else wants to know."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy great shoes."

"Health is wealth, but wealth is also wealth."

"Adventure is just another word for leaving your comfort zone unprepared."

"Imagination is where all the best lies come from."

"Technology is wonderful until it makes you look fat."

"History repeats itself, usually when you're not paying attention."

"Philosophy is asking questions no one can answer."

"Literature teaches us about people we'll never meet."

"Politics is a dirty game, but someone has to keep their manicure."

"War is hell, but so is a bad hair day."

"Motivation is just peer pressure in motivational poster form."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it and can't do anything about it."

"Relationships are just organized chaos with another person."

"Solitude is what you call it when no one wants to hang out with you."

"You can't have everything, but you can have everything that matters."

"Life is what happens when you're making other plans, mostly bad ones."