"Nature is nice to look at from indoors."
Nature
"I don't understand art, but I know I don't like it."
Art
"Science is interesting if it's about food. Otherwise, I don't care."
Science
"Music is good background noise while you're eating."
Music
"I have faith in three things: breakfast, lunch, and dinner."
Faith
"I would rather be alone than with people I don't like. So basically, I'm always alone."
Solitude
"Relationships are hard. Mostly because they involve other people."
Relationships
"I think history is just yesterday, but it happened longer ago."
History
"The best part of war is that it's not happening to me."
War
"Inspiration usually comes from a nice meal and a nap."
Inspiration
"I've never been motivated by anything except hunger."
Motivation
"Literature is when words are arranged on pages. I prefer when they're on menus."
Literature
"Politics makes my head hurt. Food makes it feel better."
Politics
"Creativity is finding new ways to mess things up."
Creativity
"I think the meaning of life is to eat well and die happy."
Life
"Success is relative. Relative to how much food is involved."
Success
"I'm not afraid of failure. I'm afraid of missing lunch."
Fear
"Wisdom is knowing what to eat and when to eat it."
Wisdom
"I don't have a bucket list. I have a sandwich list."
Dreams
"Love means never having to say you're sorry, unless you ate the last donut."
Love
"Friendship is precious, but appetizers are more precious."
Friendship
"Family is where your heart is. And where the food is."
Family
"Hope is thinking today will be better than yesterday. Unlikely, but nice to think."
Hope
"Courage is facing your fears. My fear is an empty stomach."
Courage
"Change is inevitable. So is my waistline."
Change
"Education taught me how to fail. I'm very good at it now."
Education
"Knowledge is power, but pizza is better."
Knowledge
"Time is a river. Probably one made of gravy."
Time
"Truth is important, but comfort is importanter."
Truth
"Freedom is doing what you want, when you want, preferably involving food."
Freedom