Lenny Leonard

"Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time period."

"The most important thing in life is to have someone to blame."

"I'm not a coward, I'm just very cautious about my mortality."

"Good things come to those who wait, but only after you've waited a really long time."

"I think the secret to happiness is lowering your expectations."

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

"I've never understood why people waste their time on dreams when they could be napping."

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and also a lot of other things."

"I think real strength comes from knowing when to back down."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy beer, which is basically the same thing."

"I'm not sick, I'm just allergic to life."

"The greatest adventure is sitting in your chair thinking about adventures."

"Imagination is what makes life worth living, even if it's mostly imagining food."

"Technology is ruining us. I miss the old days when things were simpler."

"History is full of lessons we never learn from, which is why it keeps repeating itself."

"I believe in philosophy the way I believe in philosophy—not very much."

"Literature is great if you like reading things instead of living them."

"Politics is where you say one thing and do another, which is basically my entire life."

"I think war would be better if they just fought with words instead of weapons."

"The best motivation is knowing you might fail spectacularly."

"Inspiration usually comes when you're not looking for it, which is why I never look."

"I believe in solitude, which is why I like being alone with my thoughts and my beer."

"True freedom is not having anyone tell you what to do."

"Peace is just what you call the time between wars and fights."

"Nature is beautiful from far away, but I prefer my nature with a roof over my head."

"Art is whatever you think it is, which is why I think beer is art."

"Science explains things, but not the important things like why we exist."

"Music is the language of the soul, but I prefer the language of no talking."

"Knowledge is power, but so is ignorance if you don't know about power."

"Education is important, which is why I never finished school."