Lenny Leonard

"Hope is a terrible thing because it keeps you going when you should just give up."

"I think the greatest act of kindness is leaving people alone."

"Gratitude is when you appreciate what you have, which isn't much in my case."

"Justice is giving people what they deserve, unless they're my friends."

"Death is just life's way of telling you you're too tired to continue."

"I think the secret to success is not trying too hard and accepting failure."

"Power corrupts, but lack of power is even more depressing."

"The best leadership is no leadership, where everyone just does what they want."

"I love my friends, even though I barely remember their names."

"Family is people you're stuck with, which is the best and worst part."

"Love is when you can't imagine life without someone, which sounds terrible."

"Change is the only constant, which is why I avoid changing anything."

"I'm not wise, I'm just old enough to have made all the mistakes."

"The pursuit of happiness is exhausting, so I just sit and let it pass by."

"I think I was meant to do great things, but I'm too comfortable right now."

"If you can laugh at yourself, you don't need anyone else to do it for you."

"Beauty fades, but bad decisions are forever."

"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of living another day like this."

"Perseverance is just another word for being too stubborn to quit."

"I'm grateful for everything I have, which isn't saying much."

"Creativity is what you get when you have too much time and too little sense."

"Justice served cold is just justice that sat in the fridge too long."

"Patience is what you practice when you have no other choice."

"Being kind to people is easier than you'd think, but harder than I do it."

"Real strength is admitting you're weak and having a beer about it."

"I fear nothing because I'm already scared of everything."

"Power is wonderful until you have to use it, then it's too much trouble."

"Money is just paper that makes you feel important until you run out of it."

"Health is a state of mind, and my mind is in a bar."

"Adventures are things that happen to other people in better places."