Master Shake

"Faith in yourself is way better than faith in anything else."

"A leader doesn't need to be smart, just louder than everyone else."

"Hard work is for people who couldn't scheme their way up."

"My dreams are better than reality, so I prefer to sleep."

"Humor is the best way to make people forget you owe them money."

"Beauty fades, but being cool is forever. So is being me."

"Death is just the universe kicking you out of the party."

"Keep pushing forward, even if you don't know where forward is."

"Be grateful for what you have, especially if you stole it fair and square."

"Creativity is breaking rules in ways that somehow work out."

"True justice is when things go the way you planned."

"Patience is a virtue I'm definitely not interested in acquiring."

"Kindness is an investment only if it pays off immediately."

"Inner strength means knowing you can talk your way out of anything."

"Fear is just an excuse to not do the thing you didn't want to do anyway."

"Power is knowing that people think you have power."

"The best things in life aren't free - they cost money, usually mine from you."

"Health is important, but not as important as TV dinners."

"Adventure waits for no one, but I'll probably miss it anyway."

"Use your imagination to picture me being successful and rich."

"Technology is amazing when it does what it's supposed to do."

"History teaches us nothing because nobody learns anything."

"Philosophy is thinking about things that don't matter."

"Books are great if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not."

"In politics, the best liar wins, and I'm very good at this."

"War is just peace with explosions."

"To succeed, you gotta want it more than the next guy. Or just want it more loudly."

"Inspiration strikes like lightning - random and usually destructive."

"In any relationship, make sure you're the one benefiting the most."

"Sometimes alone time is just when you can finally be yourself without judgment."