Mr. Burns

"Imagination is wasted on the poor."

"Beauty fades, but money is eternal."

"Perseverance is what makes me continue accumulating wealth."

"Gratitude is something I expect, not something I give."

"Creativity is fine as long as it increases profit margins."

"Motivation comes from fear of losing everything."

"Inspiration? That's what I inspire in my workers: terror."

"The perfect relationship is one based on a solid prenuptial agreement."

"Happiness is a full bank account and an empty conscience."

"Hope is what keeps the poor docile."

"Literature is a good way to put people to sleep at meetings."

"Philosophy teaches us that might makes right."

"Truth is whatever my lawyers say it is."

"Freedom is mine. Everyone else has privilege at my discretion."

"Time is money, which means I waste nothing."

"Success is measured in power and influence over others."

"Laughter is the sound of the weak."

"Beauty in nature? Nature is meant to be exploited for profit."

"I have a soft spot in my heart. I had it surgically removed."

"Friendship is a liability I cannot afford."

"Family is just another word for inheritance complications."

"Death is the only certainty that brings me peace."

"Life is a series of transactions."

"Love is a tax deduction if married properly."

"Wisdom comes to those who live long enough to corrupt others."

"Leadership is the art of making others do your bidding."

"Work is a privilege I've generously provided to the masses."

"Dreams fade. Bills persist."

"The secret to happiness is not knowing how much you could have."

"Success requires crushing your competition and their families."