Peter Griffin

"You gotta admire a guy who can laugh at his own stupidity."

"Life is all about embracing your inner idiot."

"If at first you don't succeed, give up. It's only a hobby."

"Friends are the family you choose for yourself."

"I've been thinking about my life, and I think I've been doing it wrong."

"Happiness is a warm beer and a good TV show."

"Nobody ever said being an adult would be this confusing."

"I try to live each day like it might be my last."

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

"Success is just failure that hasn't happened yet."

"Sometimes you gotta take a chance and see what happens."

"I've learned that my mistakes are usually my best teachers."

"There's nothing wrong with being yourself, even if yourself is weird."

"The only thing we have to fear is running out of beer."

"I believe in second chances, third chances, and fourth chances too."

"Work is what you do when you don't want to do anything else."

"Dreams are free, but making them come true costs money."

"I've never understood why people get so upset over little things."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"Sometimes the best ideas come when you're not thinking at all."

"I respect anyone who sticks to their guns, even if they're wrong."

"Leadership is just knowing who to blame when things go wrong."

"Music is the language of the soul, but I prefer the language of beer."

"Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss."

"I've found that most of life's problems can be solved with a nap."

"Gratitude is remembering that things could always be worse."

"The key to friendship is not taking things too seriously."

"I believe that everything happens for a reason, even if I don't understand it."

"Patience is just another word for laziness."