Peter Griffin

"The worst thing about growing up is realizing your parents were right."

"I don't believe in luck; I believe in hard work and divine intervention."

"Peace is what you get when everyone's too tired to fight."

"Nature is beautiful until you have to spend time in it."

"Art is when you try to make something and it looks like something else."

"Science is just a fancy word for 'let's see what happens.'"

"I think therefore I am, but mostly I don't think."

"The only certainty in life is that things will go wrong."

"Freedom is the ability to do what you want without getting in trouble."

"I've found that honesty is usually the worst policy."

"Creativity is just messy science."

"Justice is blind, but usually it's just not paying attention."

"I believe in treating others the way you want to be treated, unless they annoy you."

"There's nothing wrong with being ordinary; most of us are."

"I've learned that the best moments are the ones you don't expect."

"Money makes the world go round, but beer makes it spin faster."

"I'm not afraid of death; I'm afraid of missing a good TV show."

"Shut up, Meg."

"That's freakin' sweet!"

"All right, all right, calm down. It's just a little rape."

"Giggity!"

"Why is there a dead Asian guy in our living room?"

"I'm gonna go do some stuff."

"Dear God, it's me, Peter. Can I have some money?"

"Holy crap!"

"Lois, Lois! Remember when I said that thing?"

"I got a great idea. What if we don't do anything?"

"That's the most brilliant idea I've heard... since last week when you said we should eat that entire cake."

"You know what really grinds my gears? People who... oh, I'll think of something."

"Victory is mine!"