Peter Griffin

"Woop-de-doo!"

"I'm Peter Griffin. You might remember me from such places as my house."

"Is that a Jew?"

"You know, I got a lot of problems. But nobody ever talks about them."

"I find the most erotic thing in the world is the crotch. Of the opposite sex."

"That's funny, I don't remember this part of Sesame Street."

"Sweet lion of Damascus!"

"Life's too short to worry about the little things."

"You gotta have faith in yourself, or nobody else will."

"I've never been to prison. I've never been in the military. That's about it."

"Hehehehe, that was great."

"Sometimes you gotta do what your heart tells you, even if it's stupid."

"I'm drunk, I'm in love, and I'm gonna do something stupid."

"This is the best day of my life. And I met my wife in a drunken stupor."

"I'm not gay, but I'm willing to learn."

"You know what? I'm gonna start my own business. How hard can it be?"

"All I know is football should not be called football. You throw it with your hands."

"I have no idea what you just said, but I agree completely."

"When life gives you lemons, I say 'Why me?' and I cry."

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

"The greatest thing about being a man is that I can do whatever I want."

"I'm gonna regret this, but what the hell."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France? Actually, I have no idea."

"I'm the king of the castle!"

"That's neat! Can I eat it?"

"Wow, that's beautiful. I don't understand it, but it's beautiful."

"I work hard for my money, which is why I don't have any."

"Everything I do is justified because I'm confused."

"You don't have to be smart to be successful, just lucky."

"I've learned that the hard way... by doing it the hard way."