Phyllis Diller

"I've learned that tomorrow is another chance to do it right."

"The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion."

"I don't think about the future much - I'm too busy laughing at the present."

"My recipe for staying young is simple: maintain a sense of wonder and a wicked sense of humor."

"I've made peace with getting older. It beats the alternative."

"The greatest gift parents can give their children is unconditional love and a healthy fear of disappointing them."

"I'm at the age where my back is older than my boyfriend."

"Success isn't about money or fame - it's about doing what you love and laughing along the way."

"I've learned that you can't truly know a person until you've lived with them and heard them laugh."

"The world needs more laughter and less litigation."

"I'm not afraid of the dark - I'm afraid of what might be standing next to me in it."

"Life taught me that sometimes the best response is a good laugh and a shrug."

"I've learned that holding grudges is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick."

"My advice to anyone struggling: find something to laugh about and hold onto it."

"I'm so old, I remember when they had to invent electricity just to keep up with me."

"The secret of staying sane is surrounding yourself with people who appreciate your weirdness."

"I've realized that the best marriages are based on laughter, not love - although ideally both."

"Getting older isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

"My grandmother used to say, 'Phyllis, life is what happens while you're complaining about it.'"

"I don't have wrinkles - I have laugh lines, and I earned every single one."

"The most important thing I've learned is that nothing lasts forever, so enjoy it while you can."

"I'm convinced that laughter is the best medicine, and if it isn't, I'm going to keep using it anyway."

"My life has been a series of mistakes, and I wouldn't change a single one."

"I've learned that true love is when someone loves you despite knowing everything about you."

"The trick to life is finding balance between taking things seriously and not taking yourself seriously."

"I'm not afraid of death - I'm afraid of what comes before it."

"My greatest achievement is making people laugh, and my greatest reward is their laughter."

"I've come to understand that the best moments in life are the ones you didn't plan for."

"The secret to longevity is stubbornness and refusing to take advice from people younger than you."

"I'm convinced that heaven is just a place where everyone laughs all day long."