Professor Farnsworth

"Fry! We have a crate to deliver to the edge of the universe!"

"My mind keeps going in and out of focus."

"I'm a man of science! But I'm also a man of very limited means."

"What are you hacking off? Is it a wise choice?"

"Doomsday device? Oh, if only!"

"Why must I feel this way? It's like I'm being controlled by some external force!"

"Ah, sweet three-toed sloth of ice planet Hoth!"

"I'm already dead inside."

"Bending is a noble art form."

"Here's a question: how come nobody ever believes me?"

"I'm drunk on power! Wait, I'm just drunk."

"The key to a woman's heart is an elaborate romantic gesture and an utter disregard for her actual contemporary plans."

"I'm really not sure that's scientifically possible."

"In the time of my death, what will they say about me?"

"Good news is... well, bad news."

"When I was a young man, we didn't have these dohickeys."

"So much to do, so little time. Unless I get that extension cord."

"I'm sorry, did you say something? I wasn't listening."

"Now, I don't want you to panic, but we're all probably going to die."

"Interesting! No, wait... the other thing. Tedious."

"Yes, yes! But where's my kidney?!"

"I've reached the age where my back goes out more than I do."

"Adventure? I'm afraid of adventure!"

"That's the wonderful thing about knowledge: you get to keep it forever."

"In my day, people didn't go gallivanting around the cosmos."

"I'm going to go cry into my can of creamed corn."

"You're all fired! Wait, you can't all be fired. Who would work?"

"The fact of the matter is, I may have accidentally invented a machine that destroys all life."

"Ah, the thrill of invention! Though mostly it's tedium and failure."

"Have I been zapped?"