Professor Farnsworth

"I'm 160 years old! Nothing makes sense anymore!"

"Beautiful! Sure to be a bestseller in the fly world."

"What's an 'internet'? Is it a trap?"

"Good luck, and I do mean good luck, because you're going to need it."

"Sometimes the only way to fix something is to break it."

"That's the nature of exploring—things go wrong."

"Ah, the future! The last refuge of the incompetent."

"I've made a decision. I'm going to live forever, or die trying."

"Congratulations! I think? Actually, I have no idea what you're saying."

"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck. Just fortune."

"That's the spirit! The spirit that leads to certain doom."

"I'm not insane, I'm just not sane."

"Is it evil to want to kill yourself? No, wait, that's not evil, that's just sad."

"Aha! I found the solution: more science!"

"The universe is vast and complex, and I'm a very old man."

"Your questions are making me uncomfortable."

"Perhaps it's time for me to step aside and let younger, more confused people take the helm."

"Faith is the belief in something you know isn't true."

"What good is being rich if you can't spend it on impractical inventions?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes, but at least they were interesting."

"The past is a prison."

"Is there no justice in this world?!"

"My mind's not what it used to be. What did it used to be?"

"Patience is a virtue I've never had."

"Kindness is just weakness with a nice outfit."

"I have the strength of a man a third my age... when I was younger."

"Dreams are where reality goes to fail."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I need stronger glasses."

"Peace is just war on pause."

"Nature is wonderful, except for all the bugs."