Professor Farnsworth

"Education is wasted on the young. They're too busy learning to appreciate it."

"Time moves differently when you're old. Mostly forward, but sometimes backward."

"The truth is often disappointing. Usually because it involves me being wrong."

"Freedom is overrated. I prefer to be controlled by my desires."

"Peace is possible only when everyone agrees with me."

"I've seen wonders you couldn't possibly imagine. Then I forgot about them."

"Music to my ears would be the sound of my competitors failing."

"I have faith that my experiments won't destroy the Earth. Mostly."

"A good leader is someone people want to follow. Or someone they fear."

"Work is what you do to afford the things you don't have time to enjoy."

"I dream of a world where I can do whatever I want without consequences."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"Death is nothing to be afraid of. I'm more afraid of being without my pill."

"Perseverance is the art of failing repeatedly until you eventually succeed or die."

"I'm grateful for many things, mostly that I'm still alive."

"Creative people are usually broke, insane, or both. Preferably both."

"Justice is best served cold, preferably with a side of revenge."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had time to develop."

"Kindness is weakness that feels good temporarily."

"Strength comes from eating well and not thinking too hard about mortality."

"Fear keeps us alive. Fear and paranoia."

"Power is what I seek, which is why I've surrounded myself with incompetent people."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy several things that distract from unhappiness."

"Health is overrated. I'd rather spend my time inventing things."

"Adventure is just another word for poor planning."

"Imagination is what separates humans from robots. Thank goodness."

"Technology is either incredibly useful or incredibly dangerous. Usually both."

"History repeats itself, which is why we keep making the same mistakes."

"Philosophy is the art of asking questions that have no answers."

"Literature is something I've forgotten most of."