Red Forman

"The best way to handle a problem is head-on."

"I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed."

"Work hard, play hard, that's the American way."

"You gotta earn respect; it's not given."

"Stop being a smart ass and start being smart."

"Family comes first, always."

"That's a load of crap, and you know it."

"A man does what he has to do."

"Don't be such a pansy."

"Life isn't fair, so get used to it."

"You're being an idiot again."

"Real men don't cry."

"I've got no use for lazy people."

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"A handshake is a man's word."

"You need to grow up and face reality."

"Don't screw it up like you screw up everything else."

"Success comes from hard work, not luck."

"Your generation is going soft."

"I don't have time for excuses."

"Be a man and own your mistakes."

"That's what I'm talking about—now you're thinking."

"You can't buy respect with money."

"Stop wasting my time with your nonsense."

"A job's a job—just do it right."

"I've got better things to do than listen to this crap."

"Life's about doing your duty, not having fun."

"You're a dumbass, but you're my dumbass."

"Real friends tell you the truth, even if it hurts."

"Don't expect handouts in this world."