Ron Swanson

"I have too many relationships already."

"I do not support abortion. I support shooting that doctor."

"Kindness is for people too weak to be cruel."

"The city should spend billions on roads and nothing on parks."

"I am not a fan of wasting time on frivolities."

"My life is better than your life because I have better breakfast than you."

"I would never admit my feelings to another human being."

"Real men do not waste words."

"The Constitution means what I say it means."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Woodworking has taught me that precision is everything."

"I have no fear of death. I welcome it."

"Success is doing what you want without apology."

"I do not like most people."

"Perseverance is doing something despite the odds against you."

"I have no time for jokes or laughter."

"Freedom is not free. You have to earn it with hard work."

"A good handshake is the sign of a quality human."

"I will never understand friendship."

"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose."

"Honor is more valuable than money."

"I have no interest in exploring my emotions."

"A man should never dance."

"I have never worn the same shirt twice."

"Good luck is just hard work disguised as something else."

"I prefer to be alone with my thoughts and my breakfast."

"Treat yourself every once in a while with a nice bacon sandwich."

"My ideal woman is strong-willed and independent."

"I do not understand why people insist on sharing their feelings."

"A man's home is his castle."