Ron Swanson

"I believe in having a job you love that pays you well."

"Vegetarians are a scourge."

"I am a simple man. I enjoy the simple pleasures of life."

"Never trust a man who doesn't appreciate a good piece of wood."

"I created a small area within my office for a meditation and yoga retreat."

"You've got to lead by example."

"I hate most people. There are times when I hate myself."

"Without commitment, you'll never start, and without consistency, you'll never succeed."

"I swear on the Constitution of the United States that I have told the truth."

"I don't believe in cell phones, e-mail, or other modern inventions."

"A person should own what they build."

"I have complete faith in the system and I'm content."

"I regret nothing. The end."

"Time is money, and I don't have time for nonsense."

"I support every man woman and child in this country the same way."

"I've been avoiding you for weeks."

"Nothing is better than the smell of fresh-cut wood."

"I don't believe in participation trophies. Everyone gets what they earn."

"When I go, I want my body fed to the wolves."

"I would rather suffer through a hundred bad arguments than sit through one meeting."

"A country that taxes its citizens to fund a Parks Department is a country that will crumble."

"I've never trusted a man who took a day off."

"The best thing about government work is the pension, not the work."

"You should always have standards and never settle."

"Government is a necessary evil, but it should be minimal."

"I love the person I have become because I never listened to anybody."

"A good friend respects your privacy and doesn't ask too many questions."

"Mustaches are gender neutral."

"Breakfast is the best meal because it's all alone time."

"I'm an only child, not by choice, but by decision."