Ron Swanson

"I know how to make decisions. You just pick the one that upsets the most people."

"April is smarter than all of you. I'm proud of that."

"I would rather work in a woodshop than be in government. But I'm stuck here."

"I believe that every person should be paid according to their output."

"Gratitude is a sign of weakness. Hard work is a sign of strength."

"I will fight for what I believe in, even if I'm the only one fighting."

"History is the best teacher. That's why I've read every history book."

"I'm not interested in making people happy. I'm interested in making them realize they're wrong."

"The only good government is one that does nothing."

"I have a cabin in the woods. It has no electricity, no running water, and no people."

"I don't believe in social media. I believe in face-to-face communication."

"Music should be loud, proud, and played on a 12-string guitar."

"I've never used a computer and I don't intend to start now."

"Work hard, play hard, and never stop improving yourself."

"I respect anyone who has a strong work ethic and a good handshake."

"Government bloat is the enemy of prosperity."

"I believe in the death penalty. I believe in a lot of things."

"I'm building something in the woodshop. It's going to be beautiful."

"April and I have a strong marriage because we don't talk too much."

"I would rather spend a night alone with a good book than at a party."

"Everything the government does is wrong and inefficient."

"I respect the Constitution more than I respect most people."

"Change is inevitable, but I won't like it."

"I have opinions about everything and I'm always right."

"The free market will solve all problems, if given the chance."

"I would die for my family, but I'd never admit it to their faces."

"Every person should learn a trade. It builds character."

"I believe in small government and large whiskeys."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"Flirtation is a sign of weakness. Be direct and honest."