Stewie Griffin

"Courage is attempting something insane. Which I do daily."

"Change is inevitable, especially when I'm the one causing it."

"Education is important, though most of mine was self-taught villainy."

"Time moves faster when you're having fun destroying things."

"Truth is whatever serves my purposes best."

"Revenge is a dish best served with a side of world domination."

"I came, I saw, I conquered. In my mind, anyway."

"Sometimes I wonder if there's more to life than scheming. Then I remember: no."

"Love is for people who aren't busy conquering worlds."

"My family is idiots, but they're MY idiots to manipulate."

"Success smells like my own excellence."

"The best thing about friendship is using them for your plans."

"True happiness is watching your enemies fail."

"Every setback is just a setup for a bigger comeback."

"I'm grateful for my genius. That's about it."

"Art is just expression. I prefer expression through destruction."

"Science without evil intent is just a hobby."

"The most beautiful sound? My maniacal laughter."

"Faith in myself has never failed me. Mostly."

"A good leader inspires fear and respect. I go for both."

"Hard work pays off, but evil genius pays better."

"My dream is simple: global domination and a nice latte."

"History is written by winners. And I will win."

"Why think philosophically when you can think diabolically?"

"Books about my exploits would be bestsellers."

"Politicians have nothing on a baby with ambition."

"War and conquest: they're basically the same thing."

"I'm living my best life. And no one can stop me."

"Every great villain has an origin story. Mine's still being written."

"Relationships are transactional. I prefer to be the dictator."