Stewie Griffin

"The only knowledge worth having is about world domination."

"Time waits for no one, but I will make it wait for me."

"The truth is I'm amazing, and you're all terrible."

"Freedom means doing whatever I want, whenever I want."

"Peace is just the absence of warfare. How boring."

"Nature is beautiful, but nature is also my enemy."

"Art that doesn't serve my purposes is trash."

"Science is the only religion worth believing in."

"Music is nice, but my evil laugh is better."

"Faith without results is just wishing. I don't wish."

"A true leader never asks for permission."

"Work is what you do to earn the right to relax. I skip both."

"My dreams are nightmares to everyone else."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy minions."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I hold the eyes."

"Adventure calls to the brave. I just answer to myself."

"My imagination is reality to those around me."

"Technology is just another tool of control."

"History will remember me as either genius or insane."

"Motivation? I'm a baby in a diaper plotting world domination."

"Inspiration strikes like my fists of fury."

"Relationships work best when you're clearly in charge."

"Solitude is broken only when plotting with myself."

"Perseverance is key, but so is knowing when to quit and blow things up."

"I'm grateful for nothing and perfect in every way."

"My creativity comes from a dark place. I love that place."

"Justice is whatever I decide it is."

"Kindness is how I lower their defenses before striking."

"My strength is their weakness."

"Fear is the greatest motivator, and I am the greatest motivator."