Stewie Griffin

"Perseverance is what separates me from all these idiots."

"Gratitude is a sign of weakness. I prefer resentment."

"Creativity is my greatest asset. Also, my diabolical mind."

"Justice? I make my own justice. Usually involves explosives."

"Patience is a virtue I possess in abundance. Right before I snap."

"Kindness is for the defeated. Victory goes to the ruthless."

"Strength comes from within. And also from my various weapons."

"Fear is the most honest emotion. Everyone should fear me."

"Power corrupts. Good thing I was already corrupt."

"Money is just a tool. An explosive tool, really."

"Health is important. Can't conquer the world from a hospital bed."

"Adventure? My life is one long adventure in evil."

"Imagination is the only limit. And I have no limits."

"Technology is marvelous. Especially for my sinister devices."

"History is written by the victors. I plan to be victorious."

"Philosophy is just fancy thinking. I prefer practical evil."

"Literature? Unless it's an instruction manual for world domination, no thanks."

"Politics is just organized chaos. I approve."

"War is the ultimate test of intellect and strategy."

"Motivation comes from seeing others fail."

"Inspiration strikes like lightning. Usually my lightning devices."

"Relationships are temporary. Domination is forever."

"Solitude is perfect for plotting. Everyone just leave me alone."

"I'm not upset that you took my cookie. I'm upset that you're not dead."

"Lois, you magnificent idiot, you're too dumb to realize how much I hate you."

"Psh, what does that dumb baby want? Oh, that's me."

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being feared."

"Success is just another word for 'not being a complete failure like the rest of you.'"

"My dreams? They all involve your demise."

"Courage is easy when you have a diabolical plan."