Stewie Griffin

"Power corrupts, and I'm happy to be thoroughly corrupted."

"I am my own hero, villain, and greatest admirer."

"Ah, victory is mine! Now if only I could find a way to destroy Lois."

"Giggity. Wait, that's not me. Stupid Glenn Quagmire."

"Death! Ha! I laugh in the face of death. Probably because I'm plotting it."

"You know what really grinds my gears? Family. But I need them for my schemes."

"I'm not a baby, I'm a tiny genius with unfinished business."

"Love is just a chemical reaction designed to make you weak. I prefer world domination."

"Success is measured in how many people you've outsmarted. So far, everyone."

"Friends are just people you haven't betrayed yet."

"Life is a series of opportunities to cause chaos and confusion."

"Wisdom is knowing when to strike and when to wait. I choose to always strike."

"Happiness? That's for people without ambition."

"Hope is the refuge of those without a proper plan."

"Education is just preparation for my future as an evil dictator."

"Knowledge is power, and I intend to have all of it."

"Time is a precious resource. I'm using it to plan revenge."

"The truth is overrated. Lies are so much more useful."

"Freedom is the ability to destroy your enemies without legal consequences."

"Peace is boring. War is profitable."

"Art is a tool for manipulation. Very useful."

"Science is the art of making things explode properly."

"Music? Only if it plays during my villain montages."

"Faith in what? My superior intellect? Now that's sensible."

"A true leader inspires fear and respect. Preferably fear."

"Work is just a means to fund my nefarious schemes."

"Dreams? I don't sleep. Sleeping is for the weak."

"Humor is the best weapon when actual weapons aren't available."

"Beauty is fleeting. Power is eternal."

"Death is just another word for 'game over.' And I never lose."