Ted Baxter

"Time is precious. I make the most of mine looking in mirrors."

"Truth is relative. My truth is that I'm fantastic."

"Freedom is the right to be yourself. Lucky me."

"Peace is found in acceptance. I accept myself completely."

"Nature's beauty pales compared to a well-groomed man."

"Art is subjective. I'm objectively a masterpiece."

"Science explains the universe. I explain the news."

"Music is the language of the soul. I speak fluent handsome."

"Faith moves mountains. My hair moves in all the right ways."

"Leaders are born, not made. I was born."

"Work ethic means showing up and looking sharp."

"Dreams become reality through hard work and good genes."

"Humor is how we cope with life. I make people laugh unintentionally."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm everyone's vision."

"Death and taxes are inevitable. Looking good is optional but advisable."

"Perseverance is never giving up. I haven't given up on myself."

"Gratitude means appreciating what you have. I have so much."

"Creativity means thinking differently. I think I'm the best."

"Justice is blind, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't look good."

"Patience is a virtue. Vanity is a hobby."

"Kindness and decency matter in this world."

"Strength comes from believing in yourself. I'm very strong."

"Fear is natural. So is combing your hair."

"Power corrupts, but power with good looks is irresistible."

"Money isn't everything, but it sure helps when you look like me."

"Health is the greatest wealth. Second is a good complexion."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to pursue it. I'm pursuing my reflection."

"Imagination helps us dream. I dream about myself."

"Technology evolves. My style is timeless."

"History remembers greatness. Remember me."